When a parent dies everything changes. I walked up the drive of my childhood home to be greated by my father who broke the news that my mother had died. I cried, he cried, we stood in the drive hugging each other knowing that we would need to walk into the house and see my mums family. They had already been congregating there before I had even arrived. Dad has said in no uncertain terms that no one was to "tell me" about my mum until I arrived. He knew I was travelling through from Glasgow and didn't want me breaking down on a bus, little did he know...
I walked into the lounge to family members crying and looking at me. People who had rarely visited until they knew mum was ill. That's the thing with families, we are all busy living our lives and when the shit hits the fan the guilt kicks in and they try to make amends. Mum knew it would happen and even spoke about it after her diagnosis. Gilt it's a funny thing. People who fell out with you years ago suddenly want to be friends and family again! They want to "make things right" but not for you, no for them and their own guilt! They know they should have called and visited more but nothing is going to change that now.
My mum wasn't always the easiest person to deal with and she had her moments with all of them. She said what she thought whether people liked that or not! She told me in detail about all of my family members, the good, the bad and the ugly. I know a LOT of secrets about them that they won't want people to know. She never sugar coated anything. Sometimes I wished she did because you don't always want to know the dark side to your family. As a child you have images of people but that changed when you know the truth!
The funeral was held at St Marks Church, the church she was christened in, married in and then her funeral was in. It's what she wanted. Afterwards we went to the crematorium. As we stood waiting to get in my Uncle said "it's a busy place this", I said " aye folk are dying to get in"! It drew gasps and looks of disgust but I reminded everyone that my mother would have made exactly the same joke! You see we both have a sense of humour all be it dark.
The service went well and we headed to a place in town for the wake. It was a small group of us and while making my way round the room I noticed a man I didn't know. He was taking drinks from everyone and "chatting" about my mum. I sat next to him and said "so did you know jeanie?". He said "aye me ans jeanie go way back". I asked him "so do you know her husband and daughter?". He says "oh aye we are pretty close!". I exploded and said "I'm her daughter you fucking scumbag!". I told him to get his self out of the wake pronto before I told my dad and four Uncles that he was there using people for drinks! I will never understand anyone doing that to grieving relatives!!
After the wake we went home with them to the house. It's the last time that some of those so called family members have ever been in that house! Soon after the funeral they went back to "normal" and we didn't see them for dust! Mum was mourned and forgotten and we were left to it.
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