I don't remember when I started or at what age. It just felt like it was happening. A constant darkness in my childhood. But at the time I was so young I hadn't realised it was wrong. Being constantly told it had to be a secret or I would get into trouble and my parents would be upset because they don't understand how "special" I was! Was I "special"? Or was I being used. I never felt special only confused. Confused that someone who was supposed to look after me and protect me, wasn't. They were hurting me. They were breaking a family trust, taking my innocence and ultimately fucking up my life on a regular basis! I could take all the cliches in the world and they still wouldn't cover what happened.
A trusted family member, my Uncle in fact was the one who did it. The eldest son, he developed a stutter as a child. When my grandfather came home from being a German prisoner of war he was a changed man. He struggled to adjust to life back in civvy street so took that out on my Uncle by regimenting him and barking at him. This caused the stutter and most likely mentally affected him too.
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