While working in Sainsbury's I met one of my best male friends, Iain otherwise known as Pat or The Big Chap. Iain was the store cleaner and a BIG guy in both size and personality. We would rip the shit out of each other mercilessly and he had one of the biggest booming laughs I've ever heard! He made me laugh so very much. Our Sainsbury's team consisted of me and Iain along with Neil, Janie and our manager Jean.
Neil was a tall skinny guy with no ambition and very little drive. He was seeing another workmate who we all knew was never going to last. She was a law student who wanted to build a life and he wanted to shag and smoke weed! He was a nice enough guy but unfortunately seemed to have a "thing" for me and several times Iain had to tell him to back off.
Janie was on maternity leave when I started but soon came back. She was so nice! We had a similar sense of humour and never took things too seriously in the bakery. She was best pals with our manager Jean and wine buddies. They would head out after work and put the world to rights over a wine. Janies wee boy Jack after a long struggle was diagnosed with autism. Janie has been there and done everything she can to help him grow and thrive. I'm happy to say he has grown into a handsome and intelligent young man and hasn't let anything get in his way.
Jean was a character! The first day I met her I walked into the canteen to be met by this wee perma tanned woman who looked liked she was about to thump me! She was a proper Glaswegian from the East end. When she asked me what team I supported I knew I was fucked! It's the kind of West Coast of Scotland question that is used to work out if you are Protestant or Catholic. Being from the East End I had rightly assumed she was Catholic and I knew telling her I was a Hearts fan was going to do nothing to help my chances so I told her I supported Stirling Albion! She cracked a smile and told me to relax and that I had the job. Jean had had a hard life. Both her parents had died before she was 30 and she had problems with her liver. She was also very unlucky in love. She met the wrong type of guy all the time and because she was too nice she couldn't get rid of them. Unfortunately she also met the guy who thought he could smack her about. It never dulled her sparkle and she never once missed a day at work. One day out of the blue she did meet her Prince Charmimg and it turned out to be a shock! She had become close to a work colleague and then out of the blue realised she had feelings for him! Pat was everything she needed and deserved. He was kind, funny, hard working, he made her laugh and she allowed him to look after her which was a huge thing for a wee East end wumin! Jean became ill, seriously ill and Pat stayed by her till the very end. She got her man and they loved the bones of each other. Jean passed away and though I hadn't seen her in some time I knew a light had gone out of this world. She was a beautiful person and is missed.
As for Iain, We had similar tastes in films, music and geeky stuff and to many outsiders we were "perfect" for each other. On paper yes we completely were but unfortunately I never felt anything other than friendship. I saw him as a big brother type character and through time I confided in him a lot about my home situation. He knew all about my mum and even met her a few times when she came to visit.
Being a friend to me was a struggle for Iain not because I'm a bad person or anything but because he had developed deep feelings for me. It was the first time I'd ever had a "guy pal" and I actually had to ask other people if I was giving him the wrong vibes. I was assured I wasn't and to just keep being me.
We went to Solid Rock in Glasgow because we both loved the music. It became our local and we ended up knowing the staff and other regulars. I would get the bus into town to meet him after his shift and head to the pub. This happened once or twice a week until we got fed up with Solid. We didn't move far though, only up the road to it's sister pub Rufus T Firefly (known as Rufus) again getting to know all the regulars and staff. It was became of Iain that I met my ex. He was a "mate" of Iain's called "Finch" who stared to chat to me one night I was very drunk. I gave him my number and the rest is shitshow history and another story!
Poor Iain felt completely awful for introducing us because Finch turned out to be a total psychopath! It was never his fault! We stayed friends through a lot of rough times. My mum died and I struggled with grief and guilt, my psycho ex, his psycho ex, and lastly his illness.
It started with a numb leg and then the pains got worse and worse till he was screaming in agony. He was swiftly whipped into hospital and lay there for weeks with no apparent answers as to his condition. One of his legs had swollen massively and was full of fluid. Finally a junior doctor decided to give him a "full MOT" so to speak and examined him from the head down. They got to his groin and realised pretty quickly that he had a massive tumour in one of his testicles. He was quickly rushed into surgery and the baw snipped off pronto! I went to see him afterwards and he was obviously feeling a bit down. In my usual inappropriate manner I said "don't worry at least your a stone lighter and remember Hitler only had one". He cracked into laughter and I knew he would be ok. This was the start a a long journey of chemo and radiation for him and I was determined that I was going to be there for him as much as he would let me.
After months of treatment he was being discharged but there was a BIG problem! The surgery that ultimately saved his life had caused nerve damage in his legs and he was no longer able to walk unaided. He had lived with his mum in a two bed upstairs/downstairs house. He was never going to be able to get upstairs! So the council started looking for a suitable house for him but in the meantime he was moved to a care home to live! Folks Iain was in his 30's and not a care home kinda guy! He basically lived in his room for almost a year before he finally was given a house. I have no idea how much that fucked him up staying in that home, seeing elderly people in the same areas as him and not being able to leave. If it got to him, like a trooper he hid it well.
Finally the day came when he was moving to his own house! I had to think of a housewarming present for him but not just any present, an epic one! He was a big fan of takeaways so I decided I'd get him a pizza cutter ...but one that looked like a wee bike. He was also a fan of the odd gallon of rum so his second present was a dragon lying on its back which was in fact a bottle holder. Luckily I knew him well and he loved the very random things I got for him. It was amazing to see him settling into his own place and loving life. He struggled with depression which was only natural. He had gone from being an independent adult holding down a job to being unable to work again and in a wheelchair almost housebound.
The last job he had was working in his local Spar/Scotmid. He liked the banter with the customers. One day the Actor James McAvoy came into the shop while Iain was working. As he casually scanned his shopping Iain said to him "can I interest you in a dvd?" While pointing to the new X-Men film that James was starring in. James looked up and smiled as he said "naw mate it's shite!". They both laughed away and everyone else in the shop was totally oblivious to the fact a Hollywood actor had been in their midst!
I could write stories about my big pal and our shenanigans all day and they would still not be enough! On Boxing Day 2021 Iain's mum found him in his bed. He had had a heart attack. He was 39 and I miss him every single day! We didn't need to talk daily, we didn't neee to see each other every week, we just knew we had each other's backs. I message his mum on his anniversary and birthday. Just to let her know, that like her, there's people out there who miss him.
One day at the big comin con in the sky we will meet again, and the laughter will resume
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